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03 Aug

DYSFUNCTIONALS.COM –– Where Do I Sign Up?

mestepanich Mary Ellen Stepanich, PhD 21 0

I haven’t posted a blog for almost two months––for a couple of reasons. First, I went to Indiana for two weeks to attend a family celebration, and returned home exhausted. Then, my barbershop quartet (Lilac Crazy) had a crisis…which has since been resolved (thank the Muses). Therefore, I’ve been simply too tired to think, let alone write anything remotely amusing. However, someone made a suggestion to me that had me thinking, “Hmmmm. Should I?”
__________
Independence Day was a “gathering of the clans” of two families back in Indiana. You see, my 70-year-old widower brother, Bill, had just married Margaret, a beautiful lady his own age (read about my first meeting her in my blog entitled “Getting To Know You.”) In celebration of their wedding, both families came together on the Fourth of July for the biggest shindig I have ever experienced.

Everyone from both families was invited. Bill rented a huge red-and-white striped tent with three upright center posts, just like a circus tent. He and two sons-in-law pounded in the stakes that held up the canvas by ropes, just like the roust-abouts at the circus. Of course, their rhythm with the sledgehammers was slightly “off” now and then, but the tent was erected and stayed upright for the entire event.

The canvas was big enough to cover a dozen large banquet tables decorated with red-white-and-blue tablecloths with Mason jars filled with handpicked wildflowers on each table. Margaret had set up a separate children’s play area filled with yard games, hula-hoops and jars of bubble-blowing liquid. (I noticed several adults had trouble staying away from the “bubble machine.”)

There were at least 70 people there––sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, grandchildren, great grandchildren, nieces, nephews, cousins, neighbors and friends, even our elderly aunt and uncle. The men were in charge of roasting the hog––a huge pig that had just won a championship at the local 4-H Fair. It seemed almost a sacrilege to eat such a magnificent beast. The women in Margaret’s family cooked and baked their favorite family dishes. Yum! I, of course, stayed out of the kitchen, not wanting to cause any gastronomic distress for anyone. Meanwhile, I created nametags and welcomed the guests. Margaret later gave me a gift––a sign that read, “I understand the concept of cooking, just not how it applies to me.” Finally, someone gets it!

As some of us were discussing the couple’s amazing good fortune in finding each other on line, one of my nieces suggested that I should try my luck on that same on-line dating service. I pooh-poohed the idea and completely dismissed it from my mind. However, a couple of days later I was visiting one of my former quartet members and she told me she had met a wonderful guy on a similar on-line dating service, and she recommended it highly.

Well, that gave me pause. After all, Bill and Margaret had met on line, fallen in love, and married within a few months. My friend Deb had never married and was now retired from public school teaching. She had finally met what seemed to be the right person on a Christian site. I thought, “Should I give the on-line dating service a try…at my age?” However, I don’t think that Deb’s site would accept me. If I joined, I’m sure a church somewhere would collapse.

After some consideration, I told my friend, “I guess it couldn’t hurt to give it a try. I could simply direct anyone who might be interested to check out my website and they’d learn all about me.”

Deb replied, “Oh no. You have to write something short and quick––they don’t have time to read an essay.”

“That’s too bad,” I answered. “At my age I don’t do ANYTHING quick.”
__________
So, now I put the question to my blog readers––should I sign up on an on-line dating service? If so, do you suppose there’s one called Dysfunctionals.com? And am I too entrenched in my own life style now to welcome an “intruder?” I look forward to getting comments from readers. And feel free to tell me if I’m showing early signs of senility.


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